That’s what I’ve learned over a couple of decades of living. (I realise I have quite a number of these life learnings, now.) I remember, when I was in high school, a friend of mine told me he couldn’t join the track team yet because he wanted to start running again first. We didn’t have tryouts for the track team — anyone could just join, and as long as you were dedicated to practice you made the team. I found it bizarre. It was like saying I couldn’t join a book club because I had to read a ton of books first.
Anyway, I know I haven’t been writing here in a while, but I figured… I don’t need to make a grand re-entry back into updating this. I know I can sit and stew for weeks on the “perfect” blog post but… I’ll just go ahead and do it now. I’m writing this and it’s nearly midnight and I’ve had a long day. But I want to get into the habit of writing again… and putting this out there, no matter how raw and incoherent, is a great first step, methinks.
Which leads me into another related thing.
So my life this past year has been quite uneventful. OK, so I went on a holiday overseas (my first trip to Europe, yay!) and I’ve had a lot of great times with people around me. But things have been steady. A bit boring. Routine.
I figured it was time for change.
So I made one! And now I’m a bit worried because I don’t know how things are going to pan out. My friend told me that I should savour this time because it’s rare that we truly get periods of uncertainty. But I’m still scared.
And I realised that I’m never scared anymore. I haven’t been scared in a while. I haven’t been learning anything truly new and I haven’t ventured out of my comfort zone. For example, I still do a lot of dance. While I learn new routines and push myself in class, it’s still within my comfort zone of lyrical. So a couple of months ago, I tried a Brazilian partner dance, Forro. It was different. I stumbled a lot of times. I’ve never done a partner dance before. I don’t know if I’m sticking with it but it made me realise I’ve got a nice comfortable bubble around me. I’ve become a very predictable creature of habit.
I need to break out of this nice, comfortable, homey groove I’ve set out for myself.