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Cancelled plans

This past weekend was meant to be a very social one. As luck would have it, I started getting sick on Friday night. (At least it was on our way home after dinner with friends in the city, so we still had a bit of socialising.)

I spent most of the weekend on the couch, drifting in and out of sleep, not being able to do much but watch TV or read light things online, popping Panadols. The only time I went out of the house was to get healthcare.

While it sucks that that’s how the weekend turned out, I know I’m very lucky. I’m feeling much better now, and it looks like what I had is running its course with no complications. I’ve gotten a few days off work to recuperate and how lucky I am to have this option – I know not everyone gets sick leave.

But most of all, I feel overwhelmed by the support I’ve received from people around me. S has been an absolute champ even driving at odd hours of the night (and morning). Him and his parents have been helping me be comfortable and making sure I’ve been well fed (well, that’s been happening before this). I didn’t make a public announcement of it, but I told the friends I was meaning to meet up with over the weekend, and they have been checking up on me to make sure I’m OK.

I can’t help but think of an incident a few years ago, when I was still single, and quite sick. A “friend” (and I use the term loosely here) offered me chicken soup then spitefully said that I didn’t deserve any because we weren’t close enough anyway. That memory occasionally comes up when I’m sick as a trigger to feel grateful for what I’ve got now. I mean, not only did I not have companionship, proper food or medication, I also had someone rubbing it in my face about how he didn’t think I deserved any care. How ’bout that, right?

There’s a quote from “Perks of Being a Wallflower” that goes, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” This is something that I’ve taken to heart. I’m not saying that I want people to wait on me hand and foot or centre their lives around mine. But I now recognise how lucky I am to have genuinely caring people around me and to resolve never to settle for a relationship or friendship that’s anything less.

(On a side note, happiness researchers talk about the concept of mental subtraction. It’s about thinking of some blessing you’ve had and imagining what your life could be like about it. I feel like in this case, I don’t have to imagine it – I know what it’s like to be sick and not get this kind of support around me. And that makes me so grateful. I hope I never take moments like these for granted.)

I also feel super lucky that Ron and Belle have been very good at keeping me company. 🙂 It’s now part of my day to have one or both of their furry bodies snuggling up to get pats.

(Post two… five more to go! Yes, the countdown is still ongoing.)

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